Kay got worried the other day about people having a good time on October 19, so I tried to assure her by pointing out that even if everything went wrong that day, there have been worse weddings. For example:

Elaine Robinson – Carl Smith (The Graduate, 1967)

Elaine Robinson’s ill-fated wedding to the UC-Berkeley “Makeout King” gets interrupted by Ben Braddock testing the durability of the loft glass windows in a Santa Barbara church. The bride runs off with her mother’s young lover, the groom gets ditched, and the guests probably don’t get to go to a reception. Most unfortunate of all, a red Alfa Romeo Spider is abandoned somewhere between Berkeley and Santa Barbara.

Edmure Tully – Roslin Frey (Game of Thrones, 2013)

If you have a television and a pulse, you already know how this one goes down. The only thing worse than being forced into an arranged marriage due to your nephew’s weakness for attractive foreign women is having your entire family slaughtered on the orders of your new father-in-law. Also, this will hopefully be the last Game of Thrones reference on this blog for awhile.

Ginny Baker – Rudy (Sixteen Candles, 1984)

This one is actually Kay’s suggestion. The wedding scene in Sixteen Candles starts the film’s final act, where Ginny Baker walks down the aisle in a drug-induced haze and Samantha Baker is unexpectedly greeted outside the church by 80s dreamboat Jake Ryan. I guess Samantha gets the better deal as far as the wedding goes, although she and Jake skip the reception to eat birthday cake, which doesn’t make any sense.

Adolf Hitler – Eva Braun (Berlin, Germany, 1945)

Imagine that you are Eva Braun in the early morning hours of April 29, 1945. You have been confined to the Führerbunker for weeks as the Red Army and SMERSH units close in on Berlin. Your wedding attendants are Joseph Gobbels and Martin Bormann. Your husband is Adolf Hitler. Over the course of your relationship, you have attempted suicide twice in desperate bids for the attention of a madman. Less than 48 hours later after your wedding, you will clench a cyanide pill between your teeth while your genocidal husband puts a Walther PPK to his dome.

This is the ultimate bad wedding and pretty dark, so here’s a video of a baby elephant trying to get into a kiddie pool: