Doug & Kay 10.19.2013

So, if you’ve seen me or Kay over the past two and half months, you’ve probably inquired as to when wedding pictures would be available. If you are related to us, then you probably asked this more than once. The half truth of the matter is that we were waiting for our two photographers to sort though and touch up hundreds of pictures. The whole truth is that even while we waited for those pictures, I had plently of pictures from the rehearsal dinner (thanks Maral!) and wedding taken by friends and family that I could have posted here. But I didn’t.

I could make excuses. I could tell you that after planning and executing a wedding, I was pretty content to not do much of anything for awhile. I could tell you that, between social media and email, most of you have already seen pictures from that day. I could tell you that I’ve been busy trying to perfect a butternut squash curry recipe that Colin showed me. And it would all be true.

But guess what? I’ve got your damn pictures.

While paying the check at an Indian restaurant in Nashville last weekend, we received an email from Daniel, one of the photographers, that some of our pictures were ready. After Kay finished trying to grab my phone away from me, we sat in the car and went through them together, the silence in our rented Impala punctuated the occasional “Oh, you look great in this one!” or “This is a great picture of [your name here]!”

When we got to the picture seen above, I turned to Kay and said, “Well my name is rappin’ Kay and I’m here to say / That it’s fun to rap in a wedding way,” to which she replied, “STOP IT! Don’t tease me about these photos or I’ll cry all weekend!” Being as that this was around 3 pm on a Friday, I obliged her.

To relive the day in color, click here: http://flickr.com/gp/airpolonia/xG25YB/

If you enjoy a more classic look and/or are color blind, click here:  http://flickr.com/gp/airpolonia/625d7b/

More to come.

– Doug

(This post was originally intended to appear on Oct. 18, 2013)

(This post was originally intended to appear on Oct. 17, 2013)

Well, things are really moving now. Kay has been in Roanoke since Sunday, and I am heading down early tomorrow morning. I am tired and still need to pack, but a few observations 72 hours out:

– The power briefly went out while I was trying on my tux today. My first thought was, “This is it. The system has failed. And now I have to survive in a post-apocalyptic Washington, D.C…in a tux.” But then the power came back on.

– Do you guys remember Crystal Pepsi?

– I was packing some cases of beer into my car this evening, and kept expecting Elliot Ness to pop out of the bushes. Being a bootlegger was probably pretty cool, but then again I have probably watched too much Boardwalk Empire.

– I hope that those of your traveling from out-of-town will consider some of the recommendations on the “Roanoke” section of this site. They exist to keep you from doing something foolish, like eating at The Roanoker.

Ok, I’m going to bed. Our cats are on to the fact that I’m leaving soon, which means that I’m unsure as to whether they are happy about it, since they can break the rules in my absence (climbing on the coffee table, climbing on Kay’s desk, using the bed as a scratching post, chewing on appliance cables and shoestrings, etc.), or if they are plotting to smother me in my sleep tonight so I can never leave them again.

One of them is staring at me right now. From behind the dehumidifier.

– Doug

Four days. Wow. To be honest, I meant to do at least a handful of blog posts between when I last wrote something on here and now, but other wedding chores have been taking higher priority on my to-do list. And before you say, “But Doug, surely writing entertaining-yet-informative blog posts for your silly wedding website is crucial to the success of this upcoming weekend,” save your breath. I already tried that approach, and it ended with Kay emailing me a list of things to do, none of which involved writing this blog post. So, consider this one of my last acts of pre-marriage rebellion. That, and I have been leaving the dish towel on the counter.

Speaking of wedding chores, there was one task I really did enjoy: picking out the beers for the reception. Overwhelmed by the possibilities, I consulted my good friend and beer connoisseur Colin, who writes about beer at BeerForLunch.net. My only stipulation was that I wanted to keep the beer offerings limited to Virginia breweries. What follows is the selection that Colin and I came up with.

Devil’s Backbone Vienna Lager (Roseland, VA) – If you find yourself confused as to what to drink when you first arrive at the reception, this would be a good place to start. If you find yourself confused when you first arrive at the reception, you might be James Stockdale. 4.9% ABV.

Port City Optimal Wit (Alexandria, VA) – This beer actually just won the gold medal for Belgian-style witbier at the Great American Beer Festival this past weekend in Denver. Optimal Wit is like Blue Moon, but with a soul. 5% ABV.

Legend Brown Ale (Richmond, VA) – I drank a lot of this when Kay and I lived in Richmond, and it was a big hit when I took some back to Lexington, KY a few years ago. If you enjoy Newcastle Brown Ale, you’ll like this even better. 6% ABV.

Parkway Brewing Get Bent Mountain IPA (Salem, VA) – Colin bought a six-pack of this on our way to the bachelor party back in August, and it was really good. At 7.2% ABV, it is a good choice if you want to get bent just as fast as possible.

Williamsburg Alewerks Pumpkin Ale (Williamsburg, VA) – For two months, this beer was my white whale. I searched every beer retailer I could find, but no one had this beer in stock, let alone three cases. Then, a few weeks ago, I called Total Wine on a whim and they had some in stock. I bought three cases and got a six-pack for the apartment. Do you like pumpkin pie? Do you like beer? You are in luck. 7.3% ABV.

For you non-beer drinkers, Kay has selected four wines (two whites, two reds) that she regularly gets from Trader Joe’s. To be fair, Trader Joe’s has really good wine. But wine is nowhere near as fun to write about, think about, or drink as beer is.

From here on out, count on at least one blog post per day as we approach the big day. I’ll write more later, once I find a fun .gif for the number 3.

– Doug

Well, we are now just shy of one more month until the big day. Preparations for the big day are reaching a…umm…fever pitch…

BUT, the good news is that I think we are at the point now where we are “dotting i’s and crossing t’s,” or at least that’s what I hear Kay telling people on the phone.

Kay’s cousin Thomas got married in DC this past weekend, so Kay and I were busy taking mental notes. A few directly and indirectly-related observations:

1. At one point during the ceremony, Kay leaned over to me and asked, “Does my breath smell metallic?” She then proceeded to breathe in my face.

2. The potential exists for me to do a fair amount of public speaking next month, which I haven’t done much of outside of graduate school, so expect PowerPoint slides, handouts, and a ten minute Q&A at the end of my remarks. But seriously, it will look something like this:

3. Thomas’ wife, Caroline, was serenaded by all their guests to “Sweet Caroline” during the reception. To her credit, Caroline knew all the words. In an effort to anticipate a similar gesture at our wedding, I will be teaching myself how to “Dougie.”

4. I still know all the words to “Love Shack.”

5. Remember to hydrate throughout the evening. And before bed. And the next day. 

6. Are you guys pumped for Breaking Bad on Sunday?

Speaking of which, don’t expect any more updates to this blog before Sunday night.

Doug

Well, the arbitrary RSVP deadline has arrived. To those who responded in the affirmative, we are looking forward to seeing you next month. To those who will not able to attend, we are truly saddened by your absence. To anyone with a wedding on the horizon, you should consider online invitations. And to those who have not responded to the invite, you need to check your email more often. Or at least look in your spam folder.

It has been a busy couple of weeks since we sent out invitations:

– I had my bachelor party. (Kay had her bachelorette party back in June. Ask her about her scar.)

– Kay had her wedding dress tailored.

– I got fitted for my tuxedo.

– We finalized the menu for the reception.

– I beat Kay’s cousin Ryan in the opening week of fantasy football.

– Breaking Bad got really crazy.

– This is hilarious

So now that we are closing in on the T-1 month mark, here are some things for you to start thinking about:

– Get a hotel room. Apparently Hotel Roanoke is currently booked due to two conferences being the same weekend as our wedding, but many of those rooms should be released around Sept. 19-20, so keep checking back. If Hotel Roanoke doesn’t pan out, there are plently of other good hotels in Roanoke. Just don’t stay at the Ramada on Franklin Rd., unless you want to contract cholera.

– Figure out how you are getting to Roanoke. Start looking at Google Map directions or buy your plane tickets. Keep in mind that Roanoke is right off of I-81, an interstate so over-populated with trucks that, after a few miles, even the most ardent trucking industry lobbyist will be rooting for freight.

– Dust off your dancing shoes. There will be a band, and no, “Wagonwheel” is not on the set-list. If you need some inspiration, here are some ideas to start with:

This is happening, guys. Five more weeks.

– Doug

Many of you woke up this morning with wedding invites in your inboxes. After an all-night crunch-session of wedding guest data entry–facilitated by Devil’s Backbone Vienna Lager and DC Brau The Citizen–I managed to send out wedding invites to the majority of our guest list at 1 am. As the RSVPs have rolled in, we’ve noticed a few issues I’d like to address here.

1. If your invite is addressed to two or more individuals, one of you is the designated primary guest, and the others are additional guests. So, consider the following scenario:

– My friend, let’s call him Patrick, receives a wedding invite from us in his email.

– The invite is addressed to Patrick & Evelyn; Evelyn is Patrick’s “supposed fiance”

– Patrick will RSVP for him and will have the option of RSVPing for one guest, Evelyn

– It will look like this:

Your RSVP

Patrick Bateman
patrickbateman@pierceandpierce.com          Attending   Change
Update information

+ Bring a guest      One more available

– Patrick will RSVP for himself, then click “Bring a guest” to RSVP for Evelyn Williams.

So if I sent an invitation to your email for you and your spouse, the invite is actually tracked as you +1. If I sent you an invitation for you, your spouse and your two kids, the invite is tracked as you +3. If you are both planning on attending, please be sure to include each guest that you have been allotted. You will have to manually enter each name.

2. Make sure you click “Open Invitation” when you get the email containing the wedding invitation. It will have all the information you need for Oct. 19.

3. Don’t act like you don’t know how to use a computer and/or the internet when you do.

Seriously though, if you have any questions regarding RSVPs, please send us a message.

– Doug

Last month, Kay and I met with the wedding photographers—Daniel and Jeff—to get a little practice with them in advance of the big day. I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the whole thing from the moment Kay first mentioned it to me. Luckily, scheduling conflicts kept pushing things down the road, which made me so happy I almost forgot about it. But all of the sudden, a Sunday afternoon availed itself to everyone involved and the next thing I knew, Kay was driving me towards Old Town Alexandria (and away from a how-to-cook pad thai function, I might add) so that two guys I had never met could take pictures of us engaging in acts of gratuitous PDA as stunned bystanders watched helplessly.

After searching in vain for street parking and finally succumbing to the racket that is D.C.-area parking garages, we set forth on foot to meet with our photographers—Kay, bubbling with excitement and me, sluggish with pad thai and anxiety.

On our way to meet with Daniel and Jeff in front of Pizza Paradiso, I tried to negotiate my way out of the situation:

Doug: Listen, I have a bad feeling about this. Let’s bail.

Kay: What? No, don’t be silly.

Doug: No, seriously. I don’t feel good. I think I ate too much pad thai. I feel sick. Let’s just punch out and reschedule.

Kay: Doug, they are walking right now to meet with us. This won’t take as long or be as bad as you think. Just calm down.

Doug: Can we at least cross the street and get out of the sun? I’m sweating like Jerry Sandusky at a Jamboree.

Kay: That’s gross. Please don’t embarrass me.

Daniel and Jeff arrived a few minutes later, along with Jeff’s wife Jen. After shaking hands and bidding Jen farewell as she set off to do something assuredly more fun than having her picture taken by two dudes she just met, we started looking for a place to take pictures.

Daniel: You guys ready to take some awkward photos?

Doug: I guess. Listen, I apologize in advance for my poor behavior.

Jeff: Don’t worry. It’s weird for us, too.

For about hour Kay and I posed for what felt like thousands of pictures around Old Town. Let me be clear: Daniel and Jeff are great, and the fact that they recognized and catered to my discomfort was nice. They did everything they could to make an inevitably bizarre experience less bizarre. But here’s the thing: it was weird.

Weirdness aside, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. And Kay is beautiful and photogenic and Daniel and Jeff are great photographers, so the pictures turned out fine. I acted like a jackass and got a beer at the end, so I really owe them on October 19. Here is a sample of their handiwork.

– Doug

Kay got worried the other day about people having a good time on October 19, so I tried to assure her by pointing out that even if everything went wrong that day, there have been worse weddings. For example:

Elaine Robinson – Carl Smith (The Graduate, 1967)

Elaine Robinson’s ill-fated wedding to the UC-Berkeley “Makeout King” gets interrupted by Ben Braddock testing the durability of the loft glass windows in a Santa Barbara church. The bride runs off with her mother’s young lover, the groom gets ditched, and the guests probably don’t get to go to a reception. Most unfortunate of all, a red Alfa Romeo Spider is abandoned somewhere between Berkeley and Santa Barbara.

Edmure Tully – Roslin Frey (Game of Thrones, 2013)

If you have a television and a pulse, you already know how this one goes down. The only thing worse than being forced into an arranged marriage due to your nephew’s weakness for attractive foreign women is having your entire family slaughtered on the orders of your new father-in-law. Also, this will hopefully be the last Game of Thrones reference on this blog for awhile.

Ginny Baker – Rudy (Sixteen Candles, 1984)

This one is actually Kay’s suggestion. The wedding scene in Sixteen Candles starts the film’s final act, where Ginny Baker walks down the aisle in a drug-induced haze and Samantha Baker is unexpectedly greeted outside the church by 80s dreamboat Jake Ryan. I guess Samantha gets the better deal as far as the wedding goes, although she and Jake skip the reception to eat birthday cake, which doesn’t make any sense.

Adolf Hitler – Eva Braun (Berlin, Germany, 1945)

Imagine that you are Eva Braun in the early morning hours of April 29, 1945. You have been confined to the Führerbunker for weeks as the Red Army and SMERSH units close in on Berlin. Your wedding attendants are Joseph Gobbels and Martin Bormann. Your husband is Adolf Hitler. Over the course of your relationship, you have attempted suicide twice in desperate bids for the attention of a madman. Less than 48 hours later after your wedding, you will clench a cyanide pill between your teeth while your genocidal husband puts a Walther PPK to his dome.

This is the ultimate bad wedding and pretty dark, so here’s a video of a baby elephant trying to get into a kiddie pool: